Nurse Papa by David Metzger

Author:David Metzger
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: creative nonfiction, parenting advice, medical memoir, parenting memoir, children with illness, nursing memoir, pediatric care
Publisher: GenZ Publishing

7.

Mom and Dad, Take Care of Yourselves. Get Some Damn Sleep

We had really good moments…if it wasn’t for this cancer. That’s what was hard about being in the hospital. You lose control of that. You don’t have control of who comes into the room or what energy they bring—how much fear. I became sensitive to that.

– Susan, Ari’s Mom

“Papa…wake up…keep reading, Papa,” pleaded my daughter as I once again nodded off in her bed, a Roald Dahl book precariously tented over my nose. My son had resisted a daytime nap and as a result had already surrendered to sleep. He was draped across my chest like a human blanket. His soft snores beckoned me to join his slumber like mermaids singing to a land-starved sailor.

Every time I succumbed to the sirens, though, my daughter pulled me back to the land of the living. Even though every cell in my body was exhausted, she was not a bit tired. I tried to read the book once more, but inevitably the sentences reshuffled into a meaningless word salad as I drifted off once again.

It was not until I became a dad that I understood how truly draining parent life actually is. The aspects of my lifestyle that I had once taken for granted—peace and quiet, a steady and self-directed schedule, and a reliable good night’s sleep—suddenly were no longer guaranteed. I now had to consider the well-being of my children and my partner along with my own needs.

My frail illusion was smashed to pieces a few days after we first brought our baby daughter home from the hospital. It was three in the morning, and her colicky screams echoed relentlessly between her mouth, my forehead, and the walls of our one-bedroom apartment. It was in that moment—trembling, half-awake, with my bedhead pointing in every direction—that I realized what we had done. We were parents now.

Even when we get the kids to bed at a reasonable hour, a late-night visit is inevitable. Deep into the night, at least one of my children will regularly scream out as if someone is amputating one of their feet. On one of the rare silent nights when we make it to morning undisturbed, my daughter wakes us up no later than 6 a.m., pleading for cereal, needing to poop, or simply for some company.

“It’s your turn,” says my half-awake wife. I do not respond, because I am either still sleeping or pretending to sleep. No forensic expert would be able to determine the difference.

Ironically though, I learned to appreciate the value of sleep long before I had children of my own. It is the dire, sleep-deprived situation experienced by so many of the parents I work with that taught me. These parents never signed up for the many uncomfortable nights they must spend in the hospital and all the mental anguish and fatigue that comes along with being a good parent to a sick child. It is their discomfort and universal fatigue that is a constant reminder to me of the importance of sleep and basic self-care for all parents.

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